Welcome to my daily journal---a place to share my stories, organize my thoughts, and invite others to to catch a glimpse at the general chaos I call life. Some things you'll be able to relate to, and others will make you shake your head in disbelief. At the very least, I hope you're entertained. Feel free to comment, give advice, or just laugh openly and enjoy the show.


Saturday, April 30, 2011

The GRAY area between black and white

I wish I believed in fairy tales, I think I use too and I'm sad that I lost that.

A few nights ago I found myself lost in conversation with an incredibly handsome businessman.  Let me back up a bit.  I met this man when I approached him to ask for a donation for a fund raiser that we were doing at the restaurant.  I didn't do a very good job asking for money and he laughed at me.  He offered to donate but only if I would agree to have a drink with him.  I laughed at him and told him that if I had to do that with every man I asked for a donation I would be in no shape to ask for donations!  We talked more about the organization I was volunteering for, about the business dinner he was going to, about the people in the bar and he asked if I would still be there if he were too come back after dinner.
The night progressed, I got some more donations and decided to take a chance and hang around to see if he would actually come back.  I positioned myself at the end of the bar where I could see the entire room without looking like I was watching the room.  I ordered some ahi tuna and a drink and just began to unwind from my day, at this point it was almost 10pm, I had been on the go since 7am.  As I sat there I watched him walk in, he was a head taller than most of the people in there so it was easy to spot him.  I watched as he scanned the room, he walked from one side to the other scanning, then he must have seen me (I was trying to not watch him) because the next thing I know he was sitting next to me.   He looked at me and said "I came back looking for you, and I don't do that".  We talked about life, business, jobs, he told me that I was one of the most beautiful women he had ever seen and that one of the reasons he came back after dinner was because all he could think about was getting to know me.
Then he said it... "I have to be honest with you, I'm married" "but I couldn't get you off my mind and I had to see you again"  JUST MY LUCK!  I thanked him for being honest, I asked about his family, he asked about mine.  I told him that the grass isn't greener on the other side of the fence, it's just different grass.  He agreed.  He said to me "I know I will probably never see you again, but I have to tell you that I will be a very long time before I get you off my mind" "There is something about you that tells me you are an amazing woman and the man that finds you better deserve you and understand just what he has" ARE YOU SERIOUS... IS THIS MY LIFE...no fairy tale for me.
I have to say... I actually thought about / am still thinking about seeing him again.. We did not exchange anything other than 1st names...but I can't get him off my mind.
I also did mention where I would be having lunch with my girlfriends on Sunday... BAD I know...

2.0 and other stuff

Well... I forgot that when a man is sick (with the sniffles) he does not have the capability to also be a part of the human race.  So....once 2.0's sniffles went away he was back to normal and appropriately attentive.  So I've gone with it but find that I'm still very guarded.  We went out last night and looking at him across the table I thought to myself...NOPE, you're not the one.  He's such a good guy, a bit of a dork, but a nice man. I'm not ready to walk away from him... I think I will just let that happen naturally.  All he can talk about is playing golf all summer and spending time with his son who just moved back to town, his son is 28!  I have a feeling we will just go in different directions and that will be fine.   

Monday, April 18, 2011

Well... It was fun while it lasted

Well... I'm not really sure but I do believe Craig 2.0 is done with me.  UGH!!!  I thought for sure an older guy would be over playing games, I should have known better.  Maybe it's just me, maybe I'm putting a wall up... getting ready to run.  I do tend to do that ya know...but he's just acting different.  I HATE THIS.... I should just go back to sleeping with 1.0, after all... he's made it perfectly clear that he's still willing...
I guess I'll just anxiously await warmer weather so I can spend my time on my Harley... and not think about 2.0 or any other man that might come along.